Commitments are an integral part of our life. To quote Peter Drucker: “Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.” They can be small ones (meeting someone, returning a call, sending a short note) or big ones (marriage). Some commitments – like decisions – are consequential and irreversible. Every commitment needs steps to be taken to fulfil it. As Jean-Paul Satre said, “Commitment is an act, not a word.”
My motto on commitments is: never make one that you cannot keep. People must respect your word – it should be as good as a written contract. Many a time, we say we will do something, and then promptly (and perhaps conveniently) forget about it. The thing is other people remember; they don’t forget. And some day, our reneging on a promise we made will come back to haunt us.
Once a commitment is made, the words need to be converted into actions – especially for those tasks which require time. An email that needs a time bound reply, a deck to be sent in advance of a presentation one has to make, a meeting that needs to be done, a cadence that needs to be kept – it is the small commitments that create the discipline of ensuring the big commitments are kept.
We commit in meetings to do some actions by a specific date or time. No one should remind us once we have made a commitment. To ensure I don’t forget, I write it down immediately in my spiral notebook at the top of the page, so it becomes a clear actionable. If for some reason we are not going to keep the commitment, then we should notify the counterparty about it, offer a reason and if needed, a new date and time. Only with a track record of meeting commitments will people around us know that we are the “keepers” – things get done once a commitment is made.
This also means that we should not make commitments we cannot keep. That means saying No and perhaps disappointing the other person. But it is better to say it upfront rather than keep things hanging. Many a time, I have been asked to advise someone, or join a Board. My answer is a clear No, because I know that (a) I don’t like it (b) I don’t want to be distracted from the things I am doing. A commitment will require time; it is not to be taken lightly. Hence, better to be upfront and decline rather than do a shoddy job to give momentary delight to the other person, and then hope for a memory lapse later!
The corollary is that we must be thoughtful before making a commitment to obviate the need for a possible backtracking later. There is no need to say an immediate Yes or No. Some of the requests require some thought before a decision can be made. In such cases, the immediate commitment can be a date by when the answer will be given.
I will end with a quote by Michelle Obama: “If I made a commitment, I stood by that commitment – and try to make it real. Because when you become leaders, the most important thing you have is your word, your trust. That’s where respect comes from.” This is something we can all learn and live by.
PS: My previous post on “Disagree and Commit.”
