Explore and Experiment
As my friend and I were parting ways after dinner, he asked me, “If there was just one thing you could tell 18-year-olds what would it be?” My quick answer was, “Explore and experiment.”
Life for the first time away from home offers many attractions and distractions. It is even more so if one enrolls in a university outside India. There are thus two big shifts: from home to hostel, from India to international. It is a change that cannot be planned for or even anticipated. New friends have to be made, new food and other habits have to be formed, new daily schedules have to be created. It is a world ready for an 18-year-old, irrespective of whether that 18-year-old is ready or not. With the benefit of hindsight, here is what I would tell my teenage self.
There’s much to learn and know. The academics in the classroom are just one aspect of life. They are the only constant. Beyond that, it is about the choices you make. While today’s 18-year-old can WhatsApp or Facetime parents daily, I would recommend both sides to give space to each other. Life is not about clinging on to the past and telling Mom what you ate for lunch and dinner. It is about creating some space to look ahead to the future. Just as I recommend contiguous time for writing and thinking through the constant inflow of messages on our always-on digital devices, 18-year-olds must also immerse themselves in their new world. The past has been about creating the foundation, the present and future is about constructing the building.
I discovered myself on the beautiful campus of IIT. I was an introvert who blossomed in the company of strangers who later became very good friends. I participated in cultural activities, went on treks, had long late-night chat sessions, and took long walks at midnight. I broke the rules I had grown up with – in a good way. More learning happened outside the classroom – and it was because I chose that path. I explored and experimented. I did not let my past life define my future. I tried many things for the first time. I kept within my boundaries, but without the rigidities. I shared stories with people who just a few weeks ago were complete strangers. I ate with people from backgrounds very different from mine. I spent hours in hostel rooms not my own talking about just about anything. I learnt the art of conversation watching and listening to others. I built relationships one person at a time.
When I look back, I should have perhaps done more of this. The weekends I chose to come home – could I have spent more time in the hostel? The hours I spent studying concepts which the mind failed to grasp – could I have learnt to play the guitar? Could I have acted in the hostel theatrical productions? Could I have learnt to play tennis or basketball? Could I have explored and experimented much more than I did? Because the four carefree years of undergrad will never come again. There is not a worry in the world, there is no fear of failure, there is no one to judge you, there is no need to be politically correct. There will be a time when all of that will matter, but not in those four years. So, if there’s one piece of advice to my teenage self I would give, it would be to do things you’ve never done before. Even things you thought you were not capable of. Explore, experiment – and expand.
