My Life System 96-100

Published September 30-October 4, 2023

South Mumbai Restaurants

Bhavana, Abhishek and I go out for dinner every other week or so. Because of three constraints – vegetarian restaurant (when possible), availability of Jain food options, and my taste buds (no experimentation with exotic food preparations) – our choices are limited. But across these restaurants, we have a wide variety available. Here are our favourites. (As a reference point: we stay at Kemps Corner, so all of these are in about a maximum 20-minute driving distance.)

Swati: This is our favourite whether it is for dine-in or ordering. They have two locations: Tardeo and Nariman Point. The latter is less crowded on weekends and a short walk from Inox CR2 (the multiplex). What I love about Swati is the speed of service. The last time we were there, we were out with filled tummies in 20 minutes! The taste has remained the same through the years, and that’s what a good restaurant offers – like Mom’s cooking, a constant in a changing world.
Status: Also at Nariman Point, I have very fond memories of this restaurant from the IndiaWorld days when my office was also in the same neighbourhood. Meeting someone for lunch meant Status. Service is quick and the staff is friendly.
Cream Centre: Also an old favourite and known for its Chole Bhatura, Cream Centre is a place closer to home to take visiting relatives or friends to.
Spice Klub: This one (at Lower Parel) is closer to my office, so it is where I do my business lunches or dinners. The food presentation is different, and if there are many diners, then there’s good variety for everyone. They have recently started a functional business lunch (thali types) which is quite good.
All-in-1 Pure Jain: This is a new one (at Opera House). The entire menu is Jain – probably the only one of its kind, outside of Jain dharamshalas. They have almost every kind of food, so plenty of variety.
Sahib Room: This is where I do formal long lunches and dinners. It is at St. Regis in Lower Parel. Their Jain preparations are very well done, especially the Dal Maharani. The tables are set far enough to afford privacy.

There are some other ones which we used to go often earlier, which also have excellent food. Dakshinayan at Walkeshwar (South Indian food), Quattro (next to Spice Klub, for its veg Italian and Mexican options), Soam and Govinda (at Babulnath), Samrat (at Churchgate), New Yorker (next to Cream Centre), and Gustoso (pizza, walking distance from home).

There is one I miss: Maharaja Bhog. It was near the office, and I used to go there often for their thalis. But it shut down during the pandemic. As did Grapevine which is in my office complex. The one restaurant I wish would be opened in Mumbai: a veg Pizza Hut serving Jain pizza, like the one in Surat. (It used to be there a long time ago at Chowpatty, but it shut down.)

So, no shortage of good Jain eating options in South Mumbai. Each of them ensures that you don’t really need a second big meal during the day!

Gabriel Allon Day

Every year, on a July Tuesday, a Daniel Silva book is published. It features Gabriel Allon, the now retired Israeli intelligence officer and a master art restorer. Every year, for the past many years, I set aside a day to read the new book in the series. I did the same this year with “The Collector.” I bought it on Amazon Kindle, took the Tuesday it was published off from work (except for a couple Zoom meetings I could not reschedule), and spent about six hours reading the book.

This is what I had written about Silva and Allon a few years ago (July 2020): “Every year for the past many years, I have been devoting a day to read the latest Daniel Silva thriller featuring Gabriel Allon. There have been 20 books in the series so far – and I have read all of them. The latest one, “The Order“, was published a few days ago — becoming available in India before the US. I spent Sunday with Allon. Even though I do like thrillers, there is no other character I afford this privilege to — of reading the book as soon as it has been published. Allon is a character you cannot but help admire. And at times when I face a challenge, I cannot help but ask myself, “What would Gabriel Allon do?” (He is an assassin, but my point is not that — it is about the way he approaches a problem.) In busy times like now, it becomes difficult at times to create contiguous time to read fiction and transport oneself into the world created by the author. The joy of sitting in one place for many hours reading is a feeling that has become increasingly rare in our busy interrupt-driven lives.”

I had written this in Life System #14 on Reading: “I like thrillers. A good story transports you to a different world – it is the equivalent of dreaming with eyes open…The best thing one can do is to set aside some time in the day to read. Be it the serious books or the fast-paced thrillers, some diversion in the form of being transported to the ideas and stories as envisioned by the authors is a wonderful addition to daily life.” I had added the following in #81 on Fiction Immerson [LINK]: “A good fiction book is about immersion – travelling through space and time into the characters that the author creates…We can envision ourselves in the fictional universe a good author crafts, with detailed descriptions and believable dialogue. This resonance provides an escape from the mundane on a lazy weekend afternoon or a late night after a long workday, offering a portal that connects the author’s writing and our imagination. Immersion in a good fiction book fosters a deeper understanding of the human experience – very different perhaps from our own. The book leaves behind questions, some answers, and many memories that linger long after the final page is turned.”

With Silva’s portrayal of Allon, I resist the urge to skim. I savour every word, delighting in the dialogues peppered with wit. Silva’s writing transcends mere storytelling; it’s an art. Allon isn’t just a character; he’s a masterclass in nuanced character development, brilliantly bridging the realms of art, espionage, and human emotions – against the backdrop of contemporary global challenges involving bad villains. In those hours, cocooned with Silva’s narrative, the world fades, leaving just the words and me. It’s not just reading; it’s a sacred retreat, a digital detox that reiterates the significance of undistracted immersion.

My recommendation: pick an author, and read the newest book not over multiple days, but in a single day. It is what I used to do as a teenager when I used to get books from the local library and finish them as fast as possible. Allow yourself this luxury as an adult and let the world pause for a while.

Curious Listening

I like it very much when I discover a phrase that captures a habit or behaviour that I engage in. So it was when I came across an article in Financial Times entitled “Listen and you might learn something.”

Of all the management techniques, few are as powerful as curious conversation. If one of your staff tells you how their job is going, or how they think it should change, or what the organisation should be doing differently, say “tell me more” and ask some follow-up questions. It has an instant effect. There may be some initial wariness, especially if people aren’t used to having these sorts of chats with their boss. But after that they often widen their eyes, or give an acknowledging nod, and open up. If you haven’t done it, give it a go. It’s magic.

Why does it work? Because people feel listened to. They feel they matter. You can achieve this, too, by repeating whatever they have just told you. Psychologists call it “reflecting back”. A 2009 study assessing randomised control trials of therapy sessions in the US and Norway found that of all the techniques counsellors attempted — including confrontation, questioning and offering support — “the therapist listening carefully and reflecting back what the patient said” was the most effective. The “listening carefully” part is vital. People know when you are only going through the motions.”

… If, as a leader, you are known for eliciting opinions and engaging with them, people are more likely to bring looming trouble to your attention. Having those “so what you are saying” or “tell me a bit more” conversations not only makes for a more engaged workforce. It could save your organisation — and your leadership reputation.

In the article there was a phrase I liked: curious listening. Both the words are very powerful: curious as reflected in the asking of open-ended questions, and listening to learn. It is what I try to do when I meet with Netcore staff or with customers and prospects. The words and phrases they use are very good teaching moments. I make careful notes when listening to stay focused and share learnings with colleagues for next actions. In doing so, I have to resist the urge to respond to critical feedback. Once I start speaking, there is an ever present danger that the other person will simply clam up and not “speak truth to power”.

There is a very good graphic I found on curious listening at Masterpiece Leader which captures the essence:

Anna Kmetova has advice for curious listening:

Listen with an open mind: Each person is unique, and just like us, they have their own, unique qualities, beliefs and experiences. Can you give them space to fully express themselves and make sure you understand?
Ask powerful questions: Open and short questions signify the minimum of assumptions and offer maximum space for the other to explain…Ask follow-up questions such as “How do you see it”, “What is your real challenge here” and let them find their own solution.
Listen for what is NOT said: Can you tell that there is a discrepancy between the body posture of your colleague and their words? Can you tell that something truly matters to them just by the excitement you see on their face when they talk about something?

Try “curious listening” the next time you are in a 1:1 meeting, and then reflect on the conversation. Isn’t this a much better approach?

Next Books in My Head

Now that I have published one book, I am keen to write more. I have been thinking of many themes for future books. Given my secret for writing books (think 100 blog posts of 500 words each), this blog is a very big influence on what I will eventually decide. Each book is a lot of work with the blog posts serving as a start.

New Ideas in Marketing: This is the most obvious one and the one I am most excited about. B2C Marketing needs to be reinvented. I have written 50+ essays on this theme over the past three years. Many of the ideas are original and can be game changers for marketers. At the core of it lies fixing the folly of ignoring existing customers. Only by shifting focus from acquisition to retention, engagement, and growth can marketers lay the foundation for exponential forever profitable growth. But this needs an approach very different from today: Martech 2.0, Velvet Rope Marketing, Email 2.0, Loyalty 2.0, and more such ideas.
Proficorns Playbook: This was a suggestion which came from multiple people who have read “Startup to Proficorn”. There are many proficorns in India and the world, with quite a few in the non-tech world. I could have conversations with some of these proficorn entrepreneurs, and then capture their best practices (along with what I have written) into a playbook of sorts for bootstrapping and scaling businesses.
Proficorn to Profipoly: This would be a sequel of sorts to my journey in building enduring, great businesses. How does one take a business and create a “profits monopoly”? It would capture the recent past and next phase of Netcore’s growth. I still need to make this happen in Netcore, and then write about it. So, this is a book that may take some time.
Life System: This would be a book on a personal system (based on this series) of good habits that each of us can create. As Naval Ravikant told Shane Parrish: “You absolutely need habits to function. You cannot solve every problem in life as if it is the first time it’s thrown at you.” These are learnings from a lifetime of experiments, received advice, and learnings – many with my own lived story. It is similar to how my Proficorn book came about; this time the focus would be on the individual’s personal life rather than the business.
Nayi Disha for India: I keep thinking about the path India needs to take for freedom and prosperity. I worked a lot during my failed efforts in Free A Billion and Nayi Disha initiatives during 2015-18. At the core is a proposal called Dhan Vapasi, first proposed by Atanu Dey. Once again, there is a large body of work in my essays to build on. I haven’t been writing much on this in the recent past, but the ideas keep floating around in conversations with friends.

So, these are the five book ideas. Watch this space for more in the coming months. I am not the “one and done” types!

100

The Centennial

100. Little did I imagine when I began writing this series that I would reach a hundred. But as with the Proficorn blog series, the ideas kept coming as I wrote. Here is what I had said in my introduction to the Life System series: “It is never too late to learn and improve. It requires a realisation that we can be better than we are, a humility to accept when we are wrong, and an openness to change. Every mistake we make should be introspected to see if there is change needed in our core processes. Done repeatedly, we become better. A system is a set of ideas or rules for organising something; a particular way of doing something. Apply it to our way of living and we get a life system. This series is not about providing life hacks – the Internet is full of those. It is about sharing how I think and what I do – the path and system I have chosen to follow, after many iterations and improvements. Each of us has to craft our own life system.” And to think it all started as I was sitting in a waiting room with a question a young girl had posed to me. (As a postscript: I am a published author now!)

Life is about learning and sharing, or as someone put it, “reading, writing, and daydreaming.” This blog has given me a platform for all the above. I don’t worry about who will read and that has freed me from worrying about vanity metrics. I write for myself – perhaps a Future Self. It has worked well for the past many years – the unbroken stream of a new original post daily. For this, I have to keep many ideas floating around in my head. And that itself becomes a habit!

A hundredth post milestone is a good checkpoint to reflect on. I have written much of what I wanted to say on this theme. The last 20 posts were a bit of a stretch, but I was keen to reach my second “series” century.

I hope this series helps you in becoming better. Much of what I have learnt is the collected and observed wisdom from watching and listening to others. Even now, I keep a running list of future ideas and there are many more future themes to write on, should I wish to. That’s a decision for a later time. For now, it is time to celebrate the century!

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